My Teenage Years...

2012-02-07T18:22:00.001+08:00

I'm not gonna let that happen to me.

No. No. No.

That shall be the only word I know.

2012-02-06T13:48:00.001+08:00

*Confession*

I don't want to attend, let alone be the main person for it.

2012-01-29T22:57:00.003+08:00

for years I've been blogging about how self-centered I am.

I still am unfortunately =(

My life goals involves me.

No goals to help the world.

No wish for world peace. Hell I don't even know who's at war with who and what the deal is with Israel and Palestine and Pakistan and Afghanistan. But all this war and politics isn't my thing ah. It's a waste of time, personally. Just stop the bloody war and live harmoniously cannot meh? Compromise ah babe. #conflictmanagement

No ambitions to build wells for africans

Not even any desire to teach children!

No volunteer work at all.

Pass by the beggars in the streets like I don't even see them.

SELF, YOU STINGY LITTLE BITCH. NO WONDER YOU'RE FOREVER BROKE.

='(

oh, but I do love animals! maybe that shall be my thing.

There's this project Jumbo thing. its an overseas community project to help elephants! I wanted to sign up, but got no money =(

booo.

2012-01-24T15:36:00.002+08:00

So I know of this lady who's living my dream.

She went to Europe alone. Went to awesome places with her friends. Married a guy she loves dearly. Then went on to more amazing awesome places with him. Took a picture with snowy mountains in the background. Did crazy stuff like descending from a mountain freaking high up. Crossed some awesome looking high wobbly bridge. And all the crazy things you can do around the world. Oh and she loves the same genre of music. Like Lisa Hannigan.

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT SHE'S WORKING AS. Why she never put in Facebook?

Oh my God. I want to talk to her.

2012-01-23T13:04:00.003+08:00

Still in the middle of posting about the race but well.

My knee isn't pretty now! But it's okay. The only person who'll see it will be my future husband. At least I have a story to tell him. Unless my future husband already knows the story.... ;)

2012-01-21T16:52:00.008+08:00

I have been forced to blog about my experience in SAFRA AvVentura. HAHAH!
Let's take a second to stop and think through what happened =)

I shall start blogging right from when I woke up! So I woke up, and called my buddy, Ashik Rahman! I was like "HELLOOO, TODAY'S THE BIGG DAYYYY!!" in screaming, hushed voices, cause my sister was still sleeping right opposite. hahaha! So I woke up and went straight to bath.

I already prepared what to wear the night before, packed my bag too, right down to what I would eat. The night before, I bought bananas, pear, and those kiddysized cereals. Weeee!~ So after I got ready, was waiting for Ashik's greenlight. His parents was sending us to the starting point of the race, Bukit Gombak. Both mommy and daddy! I was kind of nervous. Never met a boy's parents before... except for Zul's. Oh, it was around 5.30am by then. While waiting, managed to pray Subuh, alhamduilLah. I had one problem though.

The day before, I was loading myself with water like nobody's business, to prepare for the race. See you need to keep yourself hydrated right. So I kept heading to the toilet in the morrninggg! So after praying, I pee-ed again, and then I went out. hehehe, was stupid. Supposed to wait for Ashik's go, but I was too excited so I went offfff!

The moment i took the lift down, i put on ah awesome Columbia windbreaker -- OH LET ME DESCRIBE WHAT I WORE FIRST. So I was wearing my ehem2s, then i was wearing this black tights, lined with red thingy. over the tights, I was wearing last year's Safra AvVentura red volunteer shirt, for pants, was wearing my grey columbia pants with a black/white shawl for tudung. -- so back to my windbreaker! yeahh, it was a cold cold morning, but i was so so excited! But the cold also caused me certain problems.

the moment I reached the bustop, i wanted to go pee so so bad! Then I received a text from Ashik saying that they just left house. I was at the bustop. Contemplating whether I should go back up to pee again. But then I would have to take off my sandals, my socks, my bags. haiyyah! Then must lock door and all. I was worried Ashik and parents would have arrived by then. So I decided not to. But decided to try out the petrol station toilets ah. I was thinking, shoulddd have time lah.

So there I was, walking with my bags all the way to the first petrol station. The dude said it was at the back, but I had to get the key from the cashier?!??!! I couldn't be bothered! So I walked over to the next petrol station. Also same case. OHMYGAWD. So i walked back to the bustop and just. held it in. Then I texted Ashik that I wanted to pee. hehehehe.

After I sat back down at the bustop, Ashik finally gave me the green light to head down to my bustop. wahaha. So waited, and then a few minutes later, there they were! Scary please. I was trying my best not to be clumsy, but uh, I still hit the car with my helmet. woops. Sorry uncle! Came in, gave salam-ed then salam-ed his mother. Then Ashik intro-ed me as elf's president. Then after that, I was silent. Except for when Ashik talks to me ah. Ashik was talking in Tamil to his dad for directions and stuff. aaanyway, once we reached, we were quite rushing cause it was like, 15minutes till closing of registration, 7.15am. I mumbled a thank you, which defintiely nobody heard, and rushed out. hehk. but then I managed to nod a thanks to his mom. heh, phew.

I'm socially awkward. sigh.

ANYWAY! We reached, and saw the Abang team! haha! Abang Arif and abangwannabe Naji! They slept in Naji's van at Yishun Safra- the ending point. So obviously they were early. So Ashik and I went straight to register first. On time! jyeahh! Okay so let me tell you the story of how I didn't know which category I was in until the pre-race briefing the week before.

So there was three categories, with three smaller categories within each also. And they are Ultra, Sprint and Youth. For men, women and mixed. So for the youth, it was stated that it was for those below age 21. Meaning 20 max ah. So Ashik and I weren't sure if we can still be considered s youth. Anwyay, Syahirah was the one who was doing our registration, she said she'll try to get us into the youth. So i didnt get a definite answer on which category we're in. But anyway. a few days later or smth, Ashik said we're in the sprint. And i believed him wholeheartedly. Like i didnt even thought that he would be bluffing me. Like wth for? Soooooooooooooooo up till the race brief, i was so confident that we were in the sprint category and that we were gonna die.

hahaha!

So anyway. where were we.

Right. so we registered. then we went to a corner and put all those icky stuff into our waterpack that gives us energy and stuff, packed our bags and stuff, then deposit the stuff that we wont need for the rest. Did a little bit of stretching and then lo and behold it was time for the sprint, the category Naji and Arif are in, to be flagged off! and off they wenttt!

So after that, Ashik and I did a little bit of stretching and such. Met up with some NYP peeps there. stood right infront of the starting line, stupid emcee talk3, blablablaa, aaaand we're offfff!!!!! So we were supposed to run straight, then turn left. But well. the NYP peeps, A WHOLE FREAKING GRP OF THEM, BTW, outsmarted everybody and took a shortcut by the mrt station and got wayy ahead. hahaha! oh well.

So ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran we did to the next checkpoint! BLOODY FAR PLS. why do races always have a bloody long run at the veryyy start? cannot start with like. abseil or smth meh???? NYAAAHAAAA. oh and the first station too. would always invoolve us running arnd some area like crazy ppl. thaaanks. so anyway! After alot of running *grumblegrumble*, we reached the first checkpoint! HURRAHHH!

We had to go into this park, and find the letters S.A.F.R.A. So yeah. Ashik did all the running and finding while I tried to catch up with that ball of energy. NYP peeps helped us with a few letters. Well of course. they came in one whole grp, one person find, everybody will know. the last A was located up this hill, the summit or smth. So poor Ashik had to run all the way up to get the clue while I just climbed slowly up the stairs. The NYP teams already had one guy up there so the rest didnt have to climb up ah. oh well. But they're awesome ppl so I'm not complaining

When Ashik and i were running out the place, we saw the whole gang running off already. dayyymn. So we checked out (they didnt even check our answers, thanks.)

Okay so for the life of me I can't remember what was our second station? Did we go on our bikes next? I think so? Damn.

Okay so lets take it as the bicycles next! So the NYP peeps were leading right ahead, correct? But when we reached the bicycles checkpoint, the whole group was there, stuck, because they didn't have helmets! You see, the day before, when we went down to SAFRA to check our rented bikes and such, we were supposed to bring home a helmet as well and we need to carry them around from the start of the race. But the NYP peeps didn't take their helmets! So they had to wait at that checkpoint for a good hour or so.

Ashik and I took the chance to get ahead. The cycle was awesome in some parts, but torturous in some others. but overall, IT WAS AWESOME! The uphills are torturous mannn! I always had to get off. OMG. there was this mixed team, from NYP also i think? We met them during the RP race. The girl pretty lah! Naji has a crush on her. HAHAHA! So anyway. This team, power! or more like, Naji's gf lah power! SHE CAN CYCLE MANNN! Even her guy partner had to get off and push the bike up the hill. She just chillax only cycle slowly up. FUHYOO. Naji, go tackle her lah. Perfect for you. Not only is she and adventure racer, she can cycle too yawww! HEHEHEHE

So the next station we reached was totally lame. One person only. Need to climb down this drain, then fill a cup with water to the brim, then climb out. oookay. So Ashik went down to fetch the glass of water. lol. After that we faster2 get on our bikes and cycle off.

A lot of irritating, muddy terrains. Seriously do not like trail cyclinggg. but it got better! After a little bit of trail cyling, the path changed to a normal pavement/park route. AND THIS WAS THE BEST PART EVERRR! It was like downhill, but not thae steep, and it was full of turns. OMG SO SYOK MAN! We were like going very fast and it was all smooth all the way. fuhhh! But then towards the end, I fell. hehhhh. Couldn't turn in time. #kental!

After that cycle a bit more and from the distance I saw a familiar figure - Nash's boyfriend lah! UTTLAAAN! hahaha! So we reached the next station filled with our fellow ELFs! <3 =D For this station, we had to climb up a rope ladder up this highway bridge. So cool! Not that we actually had to climb over and get on to the highway lah. We'll be belayed back down. So I climbed! Tating ah the rope ladder! swing here swing there! wahaha!

Arun was doing the checkin/out! So after I got back down, we got info from Arun that we were the second team, behind Naji's gf's team, so we hurried and maintain behind the team, and carried on cyling.

But unfortunately while happily cycling, I fell again. Haiyyoh. Ashik was in front abit so had to shout for him. bahaha! When Ashik is all high, there's no stopping him yaw. Hard lah want to maintain at his level of energy!

So we cycled some more and then saw more ELF people. Alfred, Rou Hui were sitting down in one corner. Then that Ashik almost bang into them accidentally on purpose but then he just dropped his bike and fell onto Alfred. I heard he scratched Alfred's Oakley. AWWWYOOOO! hahaha!

Then I think during this part, a few other teams caught up with us? I wasn't really aware because I was half dead by this time. The hills was just killing me. I'd be literally breathless man. So we cycled some more..... Cycled past Faezah, Ilyas, Nash. hehehe! Just last year I was one of the volunteers. Now I'm a racer lah seyy! albeit a rather kental one ahh...

After the trail cycle again, we went out to the roadside/park connecter. So it was this long stretch of distance back to Yishun. Youth category cycles, Sprint do a biathlon (one run, one cycle), while the ultra have to both run. So cycle2 some more.. but then my leg got no power at all to freaking pedal. So we stopped at a bustop, and applied heat rub. Ohh, the heat works alright! After that we continued and cyclecyclecycle. Omg a lot of cycling ahh this race!

So this is the interesting part. the road was rather wet, and had mud/leaves and stuff. So it was quite slippery. As we were cycling, an uncle cycled past us and warned us that the road in front of us is slippery. So okay we took note. A second later we saw a women's team in front in the middle of the road, one of them fell. Poor thing right.

So they were on the right. So to not bang into them obviously i had to go to the left mah. So i turned and cycle as per normal. Skali I cycled over this slippery mud part then my bike was wobbling like crazy and in that split second I knew I was gonna fall. I wanted to try gain back control but well being a kental I couldn't and so I fell and skidded like i was in Mission Impossible. PAIN BODOH. but the pain came after wards. first like a bit shock. Ashik looked back and saw me fall, so he break-ed but he fell too. Stupid slippery road! Luckily he wasnt as badly injured.

We went to the side of the road to check my wound. bloody helllll! So we took out first aid. Well, Ashik took out the first aid. He swiped my wound. Alcohol swipe! OMG THE PAIN I WANTED TO DIE SCREAM LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS LIKE OMG. a lot of vulgarities. a lott. hahahhhh. After wiping, we didn't have much useful things in our first aid. like. you know. plaster. hahaha! so we just continued on. But! When I was about to carry my bike back up, I realised I sprained my freaking wrist!

HABES.

Lucky can still cycle. So cycle on we did.

We reached the next station, dumped our bikes and look at the instructions. kayaking lah! But they only gave us one paddle. So meaning, we should switch around right one person paddle. but, to paddle, the main part is your wrist. and well. too bad ah I cannot. So, hehehehe, instead of switching around, Ashik had to paddle all the way. Poor boy =( So I had to help. I used my left hand to push the water away. TOUGH JOB MAN. MUAHAHAHA! I had to motivate him too, entertain him as well to distract him from the tiredness. So there I sat, singing on a kayak. WAHAHAHA. BEST KAYAKING SESSION EVER.

heee! =)

After kayaking, it was running all the way back to Yishun SAFRA, and so ran we did. We got to know that we were currently at 7th place. At this point, we took our time to head over cause we knew we were quite far back. But we did run of course. It is a race after all. I think that part was the best run for that race. Had a great time =)

So we reached SAFRA, and were told to split, one will do the high-E, one will rock climb. Sad thing was, Once we reached, Ashik's shoulder cramped up =( But still had to continue. Put on some heat rub and off we splitted. Since my wrist was sprained, I obviously couldn't climb.. so had to do the high-e. and omggg, had to wait for so damn longggg! So much drama. It's just high-e sey. #cheywah. A girl fell off the high-e and cried. I mean, she fell off but got rope what, so she was just hanging there and a guy had to pull her back.

i think I had to wait for like. 45mins? As i was Q-ing up there, I saw Ashik already done, or so i thought. Then after agesss, it was my turn. Saw Naji and Arif! They were finished an hour ago, all changed and clean alreadyy! wallau. haha! So zap-zup, did the high-e. It was scarier then I rmembered, but not that scary lahhh. but the last part was a killer cause need to use hands to pull the rope and stuff. PAIN BODOH. hahaha! thank god nobody else saw my facial expressions during that last part other than the safra dudes. oh well.

So after i was done, ran back down, Ashik and I ran to check out (Ashik had like a good half an hour break man). actually, Ashik didn't finish the rockwall ah, but they never cehck (which is seriously stupid). so we heck care lah! then we ran to the finishing line together. WEEEEEE!

first time complete all stations of a race! (Y) ;D

Seriously, I had lots of fun during the race. I am looking forward to the next onnne! =D

2012-01-07T14:22:00.002+08:00

I am supposed to be typing out some stuff, read some articles, and do something productive.

BUT I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.

I haven't blogged since last year sey! And it's just not right if I dont blog a new year's resolution reflection post and/or my birthday post. So here it goes.

I don't think I'm gonna bother reflecting on what happened during 2011. I hardly remember the details because soo many things happened. From my first adventure race, to being in the maincomm again (and as the freaking president, no less), from getting closer to certain people, to continuing drifting away from other to not bothering about them any longer.Defintely it was a year of growing up. New things happened to me. VERY new things. Like getting a job. Getting a POSB card. You. not a smooth year at all. but very... experiential.

So much for not reflecting. anyways.

So. If last year was supposedly about maturity, and God knows if it really was cause I didn't operationalise it did I, this year will be of a higher level of maturity, as well as pulling myself together and getting ready for the big 21. It's a year of preparation.

Firstly, to prepare for Uni life. But also, to prefer for life beyond that, if you know what I mean.

I have four years to better myself and to prepare. This is the first.

And not making the same mistake as last year, I have operationalise it so that my resolution shall be measurable and objective.

This year, I shall train myself to not sleep after Subuh to do chores. I will train myself not to be lazy. Train myself and pick up skills in doing chores (yes, it does take a certain level of skills and tricks!) and train to do them fast.

I'm not gonna be over-ambitious about this whole thing. I'm starting small.

Hopefully I will progress. Slowly but surely.

and Yes, that's it for the whole resolution thing. Not sleeping back after Subuh. HAHA.

SHALL NOW BLOG ABOUT MY AWESOME 20TH BIRTHDAY!

1st Jan, 2012. It was super productive! I had my SIP report to do which was due on the 3rd. But I didn't want to spoil my birthday having to do it on the date itself, so I forced myself to finish it before midnight. and fuhhh, i finished it by 11+! I ROCK MAN.

After the report was done, I was whatsapping M B Ashik Rahman. I thought he was otw home from work, and he said he was! Idiot. His battery died slightly before midnight though so oh well.

A minute or two before midnight, Syahirah and Naji texted! hehehe! But then Naji called. Normal i guess, to wish me over the phone. But then after he said happy birthday, he said Ashik and Nash wanted to talk to me. WHAT! I was like, you guys are together meh? how come sey? so late? tak ajak? then it hit me. I went to the living room and looked through the peephole. THEY WERE OUTSIIIIDE. hahaha!

Like shit lah, took a million years to change and stuff before I could let them in. Ashik really was from work, with his uniform still on which he wasnt supposed to even bring out! hahaha! They bought me a small chocolate cake which was deeeelicious! But it was midnight! how to finish! hahaha

Thank you guys for the visit <3333

After that, more people texted! Seri, Mardhiah, Arif, Rashidah (my cousin, rashidah). hehehe! I knew my twitter and fb might have wishes too but I thought I'd reply them later so didn't check. Besides, my alumni, Bell!, once said, special people deserve birthday texts and not just fb wall posts. Same goes for replies. At the end of the day, the people who bother texting are the people who would bother be there for you <3

So anyway! Woke up the next day feeling all exicted! The plan was to go for LJS breakfast, followed by movie! Only Ashik could make it for the breakfast though, but then, in the end it was only me and Ashik cause sommbody thought we were meeting at 11, when it's supposed to be 10. Ashik and I were early though, so we decided to be 'adventurous' and walk to TM instead. wahahaha! It was a great great start of the day! So we reached, waited awhile. Called Naji, who was laaate, so we ate first. Sorry naji! We Q-ed up to get him his breakfast but halfway Q-ing they said Breakfast finished. BOOOO!~

So anyway. After that, we went to plaza sing to watch Don 2! We were joined by Md. Zulhilmi who went shopping with his mummy in the morning. Don 2 was quuiite boring. I just wanted to smack SRK in the face mannnn. Irritating. The only best part was when Hrithik was on. WOOTWOOT! hehehehe! <3

After that, we went to McD awhile and was joined by Syahirahhh! So at first they wanted to blindfold me so I won't know where we're going. But then even if they blindfold me I can still HEAR the MRT announcements. POINTLESS. hahahahaha! Then they were like discussing which train to take since dhoby ghaut has like 3 lines. I kiiinda figured out where we were going, but I wasn't 100% sure. But once they decided which train to take, I knew.

We alighted at clark quay and walked out. we were joined by Nash and uttlaann! BAWANG GANG UNITED. So, picture time! One with the girls, and one with the boys! <3 Then off we went to GMAXXX.

daymn scary please. I was like, all the way gg, ohhh we going on the river boat ride ehhh? yayyyy! bahahaaaa! When we reached, Arif Diane Ilyas Syazwin Arun and Matthew were all already there. Syaz and Ilyas gave me a bottle! awww~ a lot of happy birthdays went around <3333

After that, started a very long discussion on who to ride what. Arif pulled me aside to try and distract me and keep me occupied.FAIL LAH ABANG. hahahahah! Oh and all that time they were arrowing each other to ride the stuff. especially Arif and Ashik. haiyyo. hehehe, scaredycatsss =P

AFTER A MILLION YEARS. It was decided. Me Nash and Syahirah will take the reverse bungee, then me, Zul, Naji, Ashik and Matthew will take the swing. WEEEEE!

to take both rides, must take out all my tudung pins. So i removed them all, removed my watch removed everythig from my pockets and removed my sandals, and up I went. I was in the middle. of course I was. Nash on my left, Syah on my right. tied my tudung btw. pfft. So the thing started. suspense only mannn. then smoke2 all comeout. WALLAUEYYY. then suddenly, POOOOFFFF! WE WERE IN THE AIIIIRRRR!

SIAL AH DAMN SCARY. BUT SYOKKKK! Especially when we were facing down. omg. crazy man. after like a few seconds though, it was slightly calmer. enjoy the view lah abey. hehehe. So after we went down, the gmaz ppl opened the belts for Nash and syah but NOT MINNNEEE. omgggg. then this angmoh boy sat next to me then the gmax ppl said, ur bday gift from us. OHHH THAAANKSSS. then the rest started singing birthday song for me. ohhhh THANKSSSSS. So I had to take the ride twice. weeeeee!

When i ffffiiiiiiiinally get off. Damn I think i was shaking a bit. It was damn crazy. thank you guys so muchhhh <3333

*okay pause. WTH. CAN YOU STOP IT ALREADY. JUST. OMG. GET IT OUT AND GET IT DONE AND OVER WITH. I BEG YOU. DO YOU NOT SEE? DID YOU NOT LISTENNNN? I FREAKING TOLD YOU ALREADY. HELL, THE FIRST PERSON I TOLD WAS YOUUU, AND YOU DID NOT GET THAT??? GRRRRRAHHHHHH! IRRITATING!*

okay back.

So after the first ride, comes the second one: the swiingggg! It's a 5 seater, and I was the princess in the middle with two guys on each side. muahaha! #gatal
Oh i was the pilot too!

So it goes like this: The capsule we're in will be pulled alllllllll the freaking way back and up. Then when the light turns green, I had to press the lever. I could have counteddown for the rest, but not fun ahhh. Discretely I pressed it and pufffff, we went! The swing was cool cause we were facing the Singapore River. omg. damnnn syokkkkkkkk! I think everybody should go watch the video because Zul's expression is pricelessssss!

then. as usual. the four guys were freed after the ride. BUT NOT ME. So waited for other people to get on. And it was this couple. from Mumbai. I wanted to switch sits, cause i was like in the freaking middle. But they say no need. So i was in between the freaking couple. AWKWARD MUCH OMG IT WAS SO PAINFUL. but they were nice. While the capsule was being pulled back, had a good chat with the dude about Mumbai.

So all in all i rode both the rides twice!
hehehhehe! IT WAS A SPLENDIDDDD TIME <333

After that we went for dinner, and weehee, got cake!

i'm actually tired of typing so i shall just stop for now ah.

2011-12-29T15:03:00.002+08:00

this is.. corrosive.

Allah, take me back. Please.

must. be. firm.

I want to cry.

I don't think we're good for each other. at least not right now.

I'm sorry.

2011-12-25T20:11:00.001+08:00

7.11.
8.12.
23.12.
24.12.

2011-12-16T18:39:00.001+08:00

Lost.

I don't like this.

I don't want to go, can?

boooooooooooooooo!

2011-12-16T12:04:00.001+08:00

We always feel joy and excitement when doing things that are unIslamic. But most of the times, when we want to do something Islamic, an opposite feeling pops up. This is the time when 'Shaytan' will always try to make it difficult for us. That is the work of 'Shaytan' through our nafs

damn you, shaytan.

2011-12-16T11:41:00.004+08:00

I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't know what I'm thinking.

I don't know what I'm feeling.

Actually I do know what I'm feeling: confused and miserable.
Allah, please don't test me too hard?

I want to cry.

2011-12-15T21:51:00.000+08:00

SERIOUSLY.

STOP.

2011-12-14T23:51:00.000+08:00

Something to read:

Am I marrying the right person?

This is the question you must ask before marrying someone. While many factors are used to determine compatibility, you may be surprised to read that the answer to this question is in fact mostly based on feelings. Through the process of getting to know different types of people, you will discover a variety of personalities and, more importantly, the type of person you are most comfortable being around. Over time, and with increased maturity, you will also develop a deeper understanding of your own personality.

Eventually, you will meet someone you feel compatible with and want to consider for marriage. You will inevitably ask, “Is this the right person for me?” As described to us in Surat An-Nur: “…women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness and a provision honorable.” (Qur’an, 24:26) This verse reminds us that people are matched by Allah. The following is a description of the feelings necessary to know that you have found your match.

The right person is someone you feel comfortable opening up to – someone you can be vulnerable with. The right person encourages you to make decisions that are right for you. This may include decisions about a healthy lifestyle and supporting your efforts to find balance between work and family. You feel encouraged and supported to grow in all areas of your life because the person you want to marry is not negative, selfish or critical. Rather, when you are with this person you feel safe to share your thoughts and ideas and you feel uplifted by their support. The right person is someone you have developed a deep friendship with and you mutually enjoy each other’s company. Building a marriage on a friendship is important because love grows out of friendship.

You and the right person for you have similar life goals and values. This doesn’t mean your goals and values are exactly the same, but they don’t contradict. You are able to agree on long term goals that you can attain together. When you are with the right person, you are able to communicate your feelings and concerns and you don’t feel that you need to keep them bottled up inside. When you disagree on something, you are both able to share and listen to each other’s opinions, then you both seek to compromise. Conversations with the right person are interesting and help you grow intellectually. With the right person you are comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings on various topics. Couples naturally grow and change throughout the course of their marriage and this requires an ability to effectively communicate and resolve concerns as they come up.

The right person is kind, considerate, and polite to you and the people around you – and not just to impress you. This person encourages you to have good relationships with your family and friends. You both realize marriage is the bringing together of two families, not becoming an isolated couple. These behaviors toward your friends and family are a natural reflection of a person’s true character. Showering you with kindness, but not extending this to your friends and family, is a sign of inconsistent character. Character is shown through the actions that come to us naturally – whenever and to whomever. Both of you will show your character through what comes naturally more than anything that will ever be said. The person who is right for you isn’t rude, childish, arrogant or selfish. Rather, they are thoughtful and caring of everyone around them, not only their parents and their boss but the waiter and the clerk. A marriage is built on the feelings of respect and compassion; unless these come naturally, whatever behaviors are used to impress you before marriage will not last the everyday interactions of a marriage.

Finally, the right person is honest with you and is someone you can trust. This person is truthful with you about life decisions and concerns. The person you want to marry does not seek to control your life but seeks to share a life with you. The right person trusts you and does not scrutinize you or make you justify your every move. When you are with the right person, you will feel safe and accepted for who you are. You feel you can share your mistakes and work on your weaknesses.

It must be said that anyone who is dishonest or does things that are against your values is someone you should not marry. The foundation of a healthy marriage is one that is based on honesty and trust between two partners.

Establishing compatibility for marriage is based on many factors and the most obscure – yet most important – are the feelings we have about the person. There are some people we instantly “click” with and there are others we find interesting and want to learn more about. These are the initial feelings, but as we get to know someone and seek to find compatibility in values and goals, one must carefully examine their feelings.

Being with the right person is uplifting to our spirit; the relationship brings us tranquility, as is described in the Qur’an:

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (30:21)

While no human being is perfect and we should not be looking for unrealistic qualities, you will know if you have found the person that is a good match for you. Remember that finding the right person is only half the challenge – you must first be the right person that someone would want to marry.

Munira Lekovic Ezzeldine is the author of Before the Wedding: Questions for Muslims to Ask Before Getting Married. She received her Masters in Marriage and Family Counseling at California State University, Fullerton and a Bachelors in Economics from the University of California, Los Angeles. Ezzeldine is currently co-hosting an internet radio show, Family Connection, on One Legacy Radio. She has also written prolifically for Muslim publications, including two Islamic Studies textbooks for the Bureau of Islamic and Arabic Education.

http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/am-i-marrying-the-right-person/comment-page-1/#comment-42544

2011-12-14T21:45:00.001+08:00

I want to experience having a room of my own.

Just for like a year.

Please?

STOP TALKING TO ME. OH GOD.

2011-12-14T21:32:00.001+08:00

THIS IS JUST. LOVE.

I want, please please please!!!

If got translations as well, would be PERFECTION.

2011-12-13T20:09:00.004+08:00

HELLO.

I have two reports to do, so naturally... I'M BLOGGING! HEHEHEHE

The past two weeks has been aweeesooommmmmmeeeee!

So last two Sundays, on the 4th December, the weekend after my SIP just ended (I MISS MY OFFICE LIKE HELL =( ), I went for the Standard Chartered Half Marathon!!!!

AND I COMPLETED IT, YAWWWWW! *proudmoment*

I went with ELF, like duh right. Who else would I go to such events with? So it was me, the two tamils (Stawberry Oreo!), Ilyas and Alfred! At first, Ilyas and Alfred went on ahead first, leaving the strawberry oreo chillaxing at the back.

But then we caught up with Ilyas, and then we overtook Ilyas and carried on.

The run was greatttt mannnn! Went to Sentosa, then to USS!!!! I SAW OPTIMUS PRIME, WOOOTWOOOT! AND THE HOT HOT PYRAMID GUYS ON STILTS. FUYYOH, THE BODYYY. hahaha! But we didn't take pictures =(

Oh well.

It was a great run! We took like. 3 hours ah. Slow, thanks to me always looking for excuse to walk/stop. heh. XD but I freaking survived with no cramps or anything so, woohoo! Go me! more importantly, thank you to my two cookies for pushing me on! Couldn't - and defintiely would notttt - have done it without you two <3

Then, the next Saturday, which was last Saturday, 10th december, strawberry oreo went for RP-OBS race! WEEEHEE! The best part for me was the dorm. First time go sleepover can sleep without my tudung on. This girl and I got a whole room to ourselves! wootwoot! OBS Rocks, yaw. hahaha! The race was hell, man. SO TIRING. 35km, i think? Cycling was the worst. Stupid rocks. Stupid hills. The best part to me was the swimming. mannn, the quarry felt damn nice! It was at Ubin, by the way. Kayaking was super tiring too.

Oh but seeing familiar faces was fun! all the NYP peeps were there, too! Gonna see some of them again for SAFRA AVVentura on the 15th of Jan. I'm joining the mixed category with Ashik Rahman. HELLO, HUNNYPANNI. need to train my cyling lah, bro. and my upperbody/arm strength. #weak

things happened in between the two weekends, too! but i'm a little too hehk to type it all out. But i had a flyinggg good time! *feeling so high like a G6. like a G6* HEEEHEEHEEE! everything did go smoothly, alhamdulilLah =) <3

OH OH OH! I PAINTED MY ROOOOOM! It's all aquamarine, now! YAY! And we got new beds, mattresses, pillows and i got A NEW TABLE! YAY YAY YAY! ALHAMDULILLAH! =D THANK YOU DADDY!

I wanna get new bedsheets too uh. and a comforter! I've always wanted a comforter. Like syok only lah.

And I have like 2.5 blank empty walls! I'm gonna get those shelves thing from Ikea to put up my trophies and pictures. one of the wall will have a FULL LENGTH MIRROR! HELLYEAHHHH. is it not every girl's dream? hahaha! Already got the mirror. Left with throwing away sis's old table to make way for it. We're donating stuffs to idkwhatorganisation. So that's good =)

Alright. I shall get starting with ze report then.

2011-11-30T23:19:00.002+08:00

Ya Allah, please let everything go smoothly. Please?

2011-11-28T23:59:00.002+08:00

i feel stupid.

I cant' even do a stupid simple paper, anymore?!

I have this hypothesis that my brain is degenerating and my intelligence is slowly decreasing.

Ya Allah, at least let me be smart enough for like, another ten years so I can work normally and collect money abit to survive when i quit work.

Haahaa.

But really. I think I should go get my brain scanned to test out my hypothesis.

2011-11-28T14:40:00.001+08:00

forget suicide bombings man, abstinence is a form of jihad big enough for me.

2011-11-22T22:44:00.002+08:00

I still remember the horrible, horrible dream I had some time back.

I can't get the image out of my head. It burns me up every time I picture it in my head.

I don't usually remember dreams so vividly. There are only a handful that I do. This one is probably gonna be stuck in my mind forevahhh!

2011-11-21T23:01:00.002+08:00

and I don't know why I have been feeling so rebellious nowadays. to everybody.

I'll be like, don't effing tell me what to do, dammit. especially something i don't like doing. it's my life, I know what I want and whats good for me so shut up.

i'm freaking 19, rebellious days are over lah girl.

but still.

it bloody irritates me like shit man.

actually I know why ah. looking at it psychologically (cheyyy), i dont have a problem with ppl telling me what to do. i have a problem with myself not being able to say no, and just do my own thing, and not listen to others. I'm too freaking easily influenced, and i tend to just listen to others telling me what to do.

I hate that.

I hate that I'll just do whatever people ask me to.

I hate not having the... strength? courage? whatever ah, to say no.

hence, whenever ppl start telling me what to do, i get mad. really at myself, than them. but of course, who ask them to mess with me?!

good ah. counsel myself.

now what do i effing do about it?

shut up. don't tell me what to do!

2011-11-21T22:54:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I wish others can just read my mind.

It will be a lot simpler, that way. Nothing to hide, no miscommunication/misunderstandings. Never have to rely on words to describe the complicated thoughts and emotions going through.

People would understand.

2011-11-20T12:49:00.004+08:00

I had an amazing time yesterday =) <3

I have a report which I'm supposed to finish by tomorrow, but I think I should post about yesterday before I forget everything that happened. My memory has been failing me lately, so I'm gonna make use of technology to help secure my awesome memories. It's always fun to read back and walk down memory lane years later.

So yesterday, Ashik, Naji and I had to attend a technical skills test (TST) as we will be participating in RP-OBS adventure race on 10th December. It was at 8am, over at OBS Pulau Ubin. I expected it to be a long and tiring day, where we had to tie knots, belay, climb, abseil and kayak. Brought an extra set of clothes only cause my wet activity attire doesn't differ from my dry one. As if I'm gonna wear shorts/tights, right? I expected us to do the dry activity first, than the wet. And I expected the wet actiivity to be kayaking only. But well, in life, expectations are not always met... sadly.

I started yesterday at 5am and checking my whatsapp. Nobody was online. Meaning, Ashik and Naji were most probably still asleep! So I called Naji and he was up (he has this kiddy, boyish voice when he answers wakeup calls. really, you do. hahaha.). Called Ashik and he didn't answer -_-" hahaha, so I waited awhile before I called again. Still no answerrr~ but after that he whatsapped saying he was up. So the first challenge of the day - waking up super early! - was a success! hahaha!

Met up with Ashik at Bedok Int to get our usual awesome breakfast: McDonald's! <3 =D But it was sucky cause the new int was already in operation and it was so farrr~ It didn't help that Ashik made me walk to the other end of the station before walking back towards McD. I got a short tour around the interchange, lah. pffft.XD

So we bought our breakfast (Ashik making extra sure he didn't get the McGriddles, haha!), and headed to the bustop opp the post office. Hopped buses and reached Punggol Int at around 7.45. While hopping buses, we happily had our breakfast: Sausage McMuffin (without egg for mine. mnyeh), hashbrown and milk! Weeheehee. I swear the bus driver was giving the stare at us. Or me at least.

So we met up with Naji at Punggol Int and boarded 84. Saw a lot of NYP kids as well. Most of them we didn't recognise, though they were a few we remember from our previous race we went. One particular guy was familiar. hehehe! Syafiq, still looking cute.

On the bus, Ashik became bestfriends with this old dark dude who was asking him where we were from, why we were going OBS, etc. HAHAHA! I could see Ashik was like, just smiling and just entertaining the dude. hahaha! Turns out he was the security guy at OBS. hahaha! We reached the jetty and registered ourselves with the staff: Team Bawang has arrived, yawwww! The jetty was quite nice. Quiet and serene. Went up the place thingy and lepak-ed while waiting for the boat.

We took pictures on the boat! Speaking of which, NAJIMUDEEN, UPLOAD PLEASE! Naji was trying to do a vlog of his races. Vlog with pictures? Go figure. hahaha! So we reached OBS, and I was so awed by the place! It looked like an academy of some sort (I guess in a way, it sort of is). They had high elements in the shape of a ship. Damn cool, please! We were brought to a room and briefed about the day. Tis where the unexpected comes innn~

Originally, the plan was dry activity, then wet. But because it has been raining in the afternoon the past few days, they decided to do the wet activity first in the morning, since the dry activity in the afternoon can be done indoors. Damn. But that's not all. We were told that we will be tested in swimming as well. Dayyyymmmmnnnn. So I was thinking, I'm so not dressed for swimming. Baggy Columbia pants (which was okay since it can dry fast anyway), baggy dry-fit long sleeved shirt, and my tudong. How the hell do I swim with that much weight on me?! The most I swam was with a set of pyjamas back in Primary 5, for my Silver swim test. Die. Ohhh well. And plus, my hair?! How to dry it siaaaa~

I guess my dilemma wasn't as bad. My change of clothes is still acceptable to continue carrying on with the dry activities in the afternoon. Ashik on the other hand, had only his sort-of-formal pink shirt. HAHAHA.

So, swam we did. In the sea! =D We were wearing a lifevest ofcourse. But that just added to our weight lah, please. So lecey. But then again we didn't have to swim that hard to stay alive. hahaha! While swimming, the waves were drifting us to the left. Damn weird please. Like you thought you were swimming straight, but you're not. But it was coool! Was just terrified there'll be fishes around. yerghhh.

After swimming was kayaking time! Had to carry the kayak down and had a crash course on the basics of how to paddle and stuff. Cool! PLUS, we had to CAPSIZE! Always wanted to try that. I don't have Star 1 so a bit excited ah. hehehe. lucky we didn't have to kayak alone, though. So it was me at the front, followed by Ashik and Naji at the back. Capsize was nothing ahh. But the irritating part is getting back on the kayak in the middle of the sea! Well techinically not really, we could still touch the ground but they wanted us to try while floating so we did. hard sia. hahah!

...

i think i'll continue later. bloody hell I should go do my report.

...

TIME TO CONTINUE WHERE I LEFT OFF!

So after kayaking, we were given an hour an a half to get changed and eat our lunch. Habes. hahaha! So I rushed for the showerssss! Had a short quick shower only, because I was more worried about the time I need to dry my hair.

I used the hand dryer to vigorously dry my hairrrr~ which was a smart move. The rest later followed moi. nyahaha. But anyway. Because my hair is so awesome, it still didn not dry. If I don't blow dry it, it needs. like. a whole hour or two to dry. So I had to wear my tudung with it still soaking wet, which will later result in my falling sick. grrroaarrr!~ I should/need to cut my hair.

Got out of the toilet to see the boys happily drying their clothes in the hot afternoon Sun, eating kaya bun. I wish I could take off my tudung and lie down and dry my hair as well, man.

After we ate, it was time for the dry activities! Which equals to climbing belaying abseiling and stuff. yawwwn. cheywah! hahahaha! So first we had to tie a figure of eight and belay. Which was simple ah, just need more practice when dressing the knot. Must tie straight to harnass, which is a hassle. After that was abseil! Now this is a little bit tricky.

Firstly, we're gonna be changing from a normal belay line to the abseil line while rockclimbing. Secondly, because of that, we're not allowed to take off the karabiner from our harnass, which means we have to be extra careful on how we put in the rope to our figure eights. On the ground it was quite simple ah. But when I was up there, like panic a bit ah.

So we were waiting for our turn to try it out. We had to rockclimb, change over, then abseil down. While waiting, we lepak abit ah. you know. tiring sey. Skali, guess who came by?

KAMA!!!

hahaha. We thought Kama joined Nash go KL sey. So he sat with us for awhile. hehehe. Maciam like cool only lah seyyy, OBS instructor come talk to us. fuhyooo. HAHAHA! So anyway, our turn came. Ashik climbed first and did okay. I came in second, and fumbled a bit with the stupid figure eight. Accidentally took out the karabiner. wooopsyyy. but all's good. Naji went next, and we were donnnne~

After that, was a whole long session of us lepak-ing, and the two tamilsepaking idiots disturbing me. THANKS EH. We were lying down on the floor, and I had to be in between the two idiots. HEHEHE, STRAWBERRY OREO! hahahahahaha!

So Naji on my right, was constantly making up nonsense activites to do, like raising my bottle of water and dropping it onto our stomach. While Ashik on my left, was busy trying not to leave me with a second of peace, always threatening or actually pushing away the helmet i was resting my head on. IDIOTS.

HAHAHA.

Then. A lot of nonsense ahhhhh! All along they were bullying me. What smthsmth luvtiya. haiyyoh.

I will die during the race, man.

hahahhaa

<3333

2011-11-18T20:59:00.000+08:00

can I faster get poly over and done with? I'd like to move on to new things now.

When will anu replyyyyy!

2011-11-18T20:49:00.000+08:00

shit you, phone! I need my twitter nowww!

2011-11-17T17:06:00.002+08:00

this is unbearable.

get a grip, girrrrrrl~

2011-11-15T22:50:00.001+08:00

i think if i get a reply from anu, a postive reply, i'm gonna take it.

i have no clue how i'm gonna pay for it, but i'm taking it.

We'll see.

To be honest, idk what i'm studying for, now.

2011-11-15T14:22:00.002+08:00

I sort of got a day off today. We're supposed to work from outside, but we completed our work early so today is all mine!

Decided not to sleep in and start the day early. By early I meant I woke up at 9 instead of like.. 7pm or something. So before showering and everything, I did the laundry first. Dump some clothes in the machine, had breakfast while waiting for the round to be over. Hang them up to dry, dump another round in and then I showered!

I took the liberty of taking my own sweet time in the shower. I was in no rush, and no one was queuing up for the shower! Such a rare situation, in this house. After that, asked mom if I could use her Body Shop Wild Cherry Body Butter. Never used one before. Don't really like it. It's basically lotion-y right? Not a fan. Used it anyway. So I smell goood~ =D

So the plan was to continue laundry and cleaning the house, and then continue with my report. but well. I made plans for the afternoon, and got hooked to Katrina Kaif. Had a really good (but super pathetic) dance session with KK! hahahaha! I should really go for dance lessons. Fun lahhh~ but gotta do it properly ahh, not learn from youtube. I suck at coordinations, man. oh but who cares. I was home alone, so I made full use of this opportunity to blast music and go crazy =D

I forgot what a flat tummy looks like man. but gotta get it back! yesterday was a good start =D! I had a torutre session with Ashik and Naji. Naji was like our personal trainer, yawww. Ran, then did sets of awholebunchoftorturestuffs. but it felt good at the end of the whole thing. Gonna run again on Wednesday morning! =)

Now I'm off for a short shower, then I'm heading out! weeeeeeeeeeee!~

2011-11-13T12:25:00.000+08:00

morning sickness. Haha.

='(

2011-11-12T12:08:00.001+08:00

this being blocked by twitter mobile is annoying.

Anyway.

Omg, can forget about holiday ready lah. Major Project is gonna be hell, man.

2011-11-10T20:33:00.000+08:00

i cant tweet, dammit.

stupid ladies night lah. So anal, the emcee. Why do you even need an emcee for an event like this.

Shit. Batt dying.

The event havent start and I 'm alrdy wanna go home. Nvm. Shall stay on cause cousin is perfor,minggggg! =D

2011-11-09T00:32:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry. That's all I can say, and that's pathetic.

The whole day at work today, I was reading up about emotion regulation/intelligence in children. How young toddlers don't have the skills or are unaware of emotions of others around them. How they can't take care other people's emotions, basically. See, for major project, this was my first choice: developing a programme that can help children learn this skill.

Bloody hell. I think I should be the toddlers instead.

Stupid, i should never assume, never take things on my own. Always clarify. Always check. Always double freaking confirm.

I'm sorry

I really am.

You're such a gem, i'll be the most stupid, idiotic girl to lose someone as patient and understanding as you are. I dont want to be like those girls who do not realise what they have until theyve lost them.

I'm not blind. I am so so grateful/greatful, whichever way u spell itttt, to have met you.

Gah. Words can only say so much lah.

IKY.
<3

2011-11-01T19:11:00.001+08:00

i think i have a rather small heart.

Sad.

I can only fit a few people in my life in it without having to let go some.

But right now, and as it should always and forever be, it should only be filled by Him.

sadly, that's not the current case.

I'm sorry.

2011-10-28T17:41:00.002+08:00

currently watching Platinum Weddings and I just got hit by a damn awesome idea for mine for the nikah part itself.

Hey a girl is supposed to dream about all this, no? Wahahaha!

This idea shall be kept inside my head, cause everyone wants their own unique wedding, riiight. =) unless ure my wedding planner or my future husband =)

Haha!

2011-10-23T14:13:00.002+08:00

you know what. I just had a random idea.

You know how all those foreigners will just randomly sit at a patch of grass in the middle of nowhere? I think we could make that work. It'll be like tiny parks in the middle of nowhere.
All the town councils or the government needs to do is just plant some flowers, afew trees here and there, maybe a bench or two and put a bin there, and maintain the grass once a month and wallah! Now all of us can join in the fun in having picnic at random places without feeling so awkward.

I think it's genius. That way, we won't cast judging glances at foreigners anymore and instead join in the fun. Singapore can be a much homier and gardeny place than it already is.

It'll be nice to have a small picnic for lunch instead of eating at a noisy hawker centre or a quiet but money-draining restaurants. All you need is to pack ur lunch, grab a mat and tadahh, picnic! Oh but an umbrella is highly encourage. weather in Singapore not that friendly to a lady's makeup. Hahaha!

My idea is genius. If anyone with any authority to make thiss happen wants to go with this idea please do so. =)

2011-10-22T07:54:00.003+08:00

the stats is elevating, and I know why.

I shall not worry because we're doing the right thing. and InsyaAllah, we'll have plenty of time and room to focus on Him now, as we should.

Worry ends where faith begins <3

2011-10-18T03:29:00.001+08:00

you're forever contradicting yourself.

Don't think you know so much just because you've been through more than me.

2011-10-18T03:22:00.001+08:00

i'm sorry.

2011-10-18T02:28:00.003+08:00

it was quite a rough and crazy night.my phone was pissing me off. Then came home to all that. How do i sleep after something like that happened? We were all so mad yet worried for her. So so mad.

My mom has always given us a million advices abt relationships. But of course, she prefers to learn it all the hard way.

You do not mess around with a guy's heart. especially if the dude is twice your dad's size! but either way. You just don't do that. Period. It's just cruel and it's definitely not freaking funny.

I promised myself I will never do that.

But i guess sometimes you just don't know what would upset someone and what wouldn't. You're no Lightman afterall.

And currently something's amiss and i'm getting those tingling feeling in my fingers again. And I shall go pee from my eyes and try to sleep. Try.

anyway, i can't and ont know what to do for this family except pray. I iwsh i was stronger. Will always rmmber what mom and zasukarti told me. You dont just go to a madrasah. You got chosen. So use ur knowledge.

I havent been doing that at all.. Sometimes i feel really... Malu. Ashamed. For forgetting simple surahs, or fiqh or forgetting sirah NaBi s.aw..

I miss maarif. Really bad.

2011-10-17T22:46:00.000+08:00

I will never, ever, ever do that to you. I promise you.

2011-10-17T00:06:00.002+08:00

yeah, i'm just gonna ignore ah eh.

2011-10-16T19:55:00.003+08:00

So I was invited. Am I supposed to go? Is it really rude if I don't? If I go, go with who lah sey? D=

Hello, Muslihah. I wonder if you still read my blog.

Hmm, I had things to blog about. But Naji's about to arrive and pick me up. Nothing much happened the past few days. Nothing I can blog about anyways. But there are a few days worth implanted in my memories, but I shall not share with the world <3

It's amazing to think of where I am right now, and to think of the people around me and the company i have now. They're amazing people whom I have met for almost three years now, and I really hope we'll continue. We're all growing up so fast. Working now and all. Wow. Poly life really truly is one of the best time of my life <3

OH! I got signed up for Standard Chartered 21km marathon, in which I am gonna die, and I signed up for SAFRA AVVentura as well! ohmygosh, I will be dead soon. Our group name is Scrambled Brains <3 hehehe! So anyway! Work has not allowed me to train much. Stand Chart is just nice on the 4th of Dec, a day after my last day of SIP/work. I at least have one month to train for AVVentura though, so thank You God.

Wish me luck, and pray that I be more disciplined! The amount of food intake during my work hours is beyond amazing. and it's burning my pockets, too! Literally eating my money away. sigh. But work is good. We're so onz that we finished their 3months project in half the time. Now we're all thinking of another project that we can do for the remaining 1.5months. HAHA.

2011-10-15T02:09:00.001+08:00

there are days when you feel like the ugliest person in the world and even a cockroach wouldn't wanna date you.

those days were quite common.

but then. there are days when you feel... Hell, even Shakira has nothing on me.

Amazing what your words can do.

2011-10-08T00:46:00.002+08:00

I. WANT. TO. GO. BACK. MAARIF. NOW.

i'm not feeling what i used to feel months/years back. and i'm worried that i'm not worried about it.
don't give up on me, please? =(

2011-10-03T22:11:00.004+08:00

tsk. now you're getting on my nerves. the worse part is, I want to tell you and be straight and open with you, but idk how to put your behaviour to words. it's just plain getting annoying. idk why. but it is.

htht isn't supposed to happen every night because it's draining. okay? thanks. bye.

on a lighter note, Big Boss took us out for lunch at City Square, at a restaurant called Siam Kitchen. THE FOOD IS DA BOMB MAN. Heaven on Earth! omg. and Big Boss damn hilarious lah! hahahaha!

2011-10-01T00:30:00.002+08:00

Please do not expect much from me, because really I'm not worthy of my own name.

Anytime the topic of attaining Allah's love, or loving Allah comes up, two names and stories pops into my mind: Rabiatul Adawiyah and S.Maryam (right?).

If i rmmber correctly, RA's dua, MasyaAllah, is too deep for me to even dare to recite. #imaannotstrongenough

Ya Allah, if my actions/deeds are done with the intention/desire to enter Your Heaven, then please do not put me in there.

Ya Allah, if my actions/deeds are done to avoid the Hell fire, then please throw me in.

But Ya Allah, if my actions/deeds are done with the intention/desire to seek your Redhaa/acceptance (? Any other better words? Help me out here), then please do not neglect me.

... Power da. I don?t rlly rmmber her story. Just this dua. And about S.Maryam... Google it? Hehe.

Good night, people. God Bless ~

2011-09-30T07:21:00.001+08:00

the sky looks pissed.
the wind talks back.
My bones are shifting in my skin
And you, my love, are gone.

Haha, dark clouds and rain this morning! And this dad & son beside me are playing old classic songs. Like One Love (not the Blues one) and Simply the Best (Y).

Oh myyy, the rain just got heavier. I prayhope its not raining when i reachhhh! no shelterrrr. =(

2011-09-28T22:54:00.002+08:00

sigh.

those nights when you feel like the ugliest person on earth and you'll never be pretty enough for/to deserve anyone.

oh well. work is good, and cats can be cute.

2011-09-28T08:09:00.001+08:00

I had the most horrible morning yesterday, but I shall not blog about it.
But because of ytd, I am half an hour early today so I shall blog!

Yesterday ended off quite nice. It's always nice to have a company on long bus rides, even more so to have someone so idiotically annoyingly... Sigh. Haha! Thank you, darl <3

Work is as usual, learning alot. We're eating in this week, the canteen food quite nice, though there's not much variety. I wish I could blog more, or even write more details in the logbook itself, but well.

I'm hungry.

2011-09-27T01:40:00.001+08:00

sometimes I fear that I'll end up being nothing but a hypocrite.
sometimes I see certain characteristics in me that makes me cringe. But yet not enough for me to really repent.

shuddup and look in the mirror first lah, self. else you don't deserve this name.

2011-09-25T17:36:00.001+08:00

Adh-Dhuhaa <3

2011-09-25T14:17:00.003+08:00

RAYA WITH ELFs YESTERDAY WAS AWESOMEAZING! Three words for it: Fab-u-lous! hahaha!

Syahirah did a good good job organising everything. 27 of us! and 12 houses! w00t w00t! We rented a minibus and everything. Ohhh, the kind of nonsense we come up with. And all the teasing and the disturbing of people, and taking pictures and more teasing. hehehe, sorry Nadlansh!

I had a lot to blog about but right now, like all gone ah.

2011-09-23T21:25:00.001+08:00

HELLO SNN! <3

HEHEHE, if I land myself a scholarship, I'll be applying to a lot a lot of Uni! Perhaps if I get in UCL then, HEY! why not?! =D

HAVE FUN OVER THERE!

2011-09-21T21:26:00.002+08:00

WORK HAS BEEN AWESOME.

I am learning SO much, and I have really AWESOME supervisors. They're really teaching us a lot of stuffs.

Today and tomorrow, we get to go back school for work. For today, I was supposed to meet Kenn at Ilyas. So I told them I finish at 1800, so can only meet at 1830, which is quite late and rushing since Kenn has to go off at 1900. I could've left early, but that would mean ditching my partner. So I bared with it.

Oh, but Allah loves me so much. He moved my partner's heart to ditch me instead (ditch, before you get ditched!). hahaha! not complaining =) So I got to meet Kenn earlier and had time to celebrate Luqman's birthday with the rest of them afterwards <3

Then tomorrow morninggg! There's a SPECIAL training by Paul! He's our senior/alumni. He was from ELF, then became a staff in TP,SAA. Then he got into Outward Bound, TAIWAN! SO COOL. So he asked us set a date and time, so that he can have a training session where he'll share with us things he learnt there. See how awesome ELF is. Alumnus, from like, the very early years! Still coming back to share. I hope I will be one of those alumni in the future. Probably won't have much to share lah hor, but still will come down whenever i can <3

Anyway, so yeah. Training tomorrow morning! I thought I couldn't go. because if I did, that would mean ditching my friend too. So I was thinking of ways to text him, when I received a text! hehehe, he suggested meeting at 2pm instead tmr. OH YES PLS! THANK YOU, ALLAH.

It's true. You can plan, but everything will only fall into place if you leave it all up to Him. Still need to put in effort, of course. =)

This Saturday will be ELF Raya Outing! WEEEEE <3 Mom kept asking who I'm gonna match with this year. lol, nobody mom. I don't think any guy's gonna wear pink on Saturday. Pink is safe. I hope.

I love having things to look forward to. Keeps me going! So here's hoping for a good session with Paul tmr, and an awesome time on Saturday! Now, I gotta do my work.

Take care, loves.

2011-09-17T23:19:00.002+08:00

i don't need or even want perfection.

someone who loves Allah and loves me for Allah's sake, is best. and who is willing to fight hard for what he wants, before leaving everything entirely to Allah.

that's enough.

2011-09-17T15:07:00.002+08:00

sip has started! 3 days already, but oh so tired. The journey to and fro is just blergh. But oh well! Bright side? Aaron and I HAVE OUR OWN OFFICE, YO.

I mean, some ppl work their behinds off for years, and they still only get a desk. We, likeaboss, have our own ;) it comes with a toilet, and another joined office ;);)

Hehehe!

So ... Currently bored. Was gonna go jalan raya but didnt cause might be gg with fmly, but looks like tts not happening either so i'm stuck at home.

....

I want a date at Pizza Hut.

How? =)

2011-09-17T13:15:00.001+08:00

I love Ingrid Michaelson <3

http://youtu.be/Hs5PjSn1-iI

What if we stop having a ball
What if the paint chips from the wall
What if there's always cups in the sink
What if im not what u think
I am

What if I fall further than you
What if you dream of somebody new
What if I never let you in
Chase you with a rolling pin
Well, what what if I do

Cuz I am giving up on making passes
And I am giving up on half empty glasses
And I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up

What if our baby comes in after nine
What if your eyes close before mine
What if you loose yourself sometimes
And I'll be the one to find you
Safe in my heart

Cuz I am giving up on making passes
And I am giving up on half empty glasses
And I am giving up on greener grasses
I'm giving up

Cuz I am giving up
I am giving up
and I am
I am giving up
And I, I'm giving up
On greener grasses
Im giving up
For you
Ooh I'm giving up
For you
Ooh I'm giving up

2011-09-13T19:27:00.002+08:00

somehow cant use my 3g to go twitter. Just wanted to tweet this:

Yes. *smile big big* =)))

2011-09-13T00:53:00.002+08:00

hehhkkk, now it's my turn to feel the... agony? ... of just waiting.

thank you, ehhh, darl. =P

it's confusing, when you know you want it to happen, but you don't know if it's right for you, and you probably can never know until like a few years later.

This is like a totally newer and higher level of 'Berserah' that I've come across so far. Berserah meaning, to really put your 200% faith and trust to God and just... Leave it all entirely up to Him and do nth but pray.

It's like falling off a high-element without checking if there is even a belay system set up above, like doing a trust fall blindfolded from the start, without checking if the canvass is even there.

The only difference is that, you know that whatever it is that will happen, or whatever the outcome is, you will get what is best for you. InsyaAllah, He will always only give what is truly good for you.

But then...

.... you can never know if you'll get what your heart desires so badly.

2011-09-10T01:29:00.001+08:00

damn lah, cant even tweet right now. Stupid phone like blocking me frm twitter.

Its like He's telling me smth.

Stay with me, please.

2011-09-08T15:23:00.000+08:00

nothing seems to be going right today. I dont even want to imagine whats gonna happen tomorrow.

2011-09-08T13:28:00.001+08:00

I think from years ago I've been trying to become less self-centered.

I don't think I'm trying hard enough.

#fail.

2011-09-08T04:50:00.001+08:00

so sick and tired and lazy. for alll these.

I hate growing up. Everything's complicated. It's annoying. Why do people refuse to live simply?

And why am I awake? Slept early so I could get more sleep, in the end I just woke up early.

See. Sick and tired and lazy.

2011-09-05T01:29:00.002+08:00

woahwoah. It's like. Tingling maxima.

Hasty.
Got carried away.
Too caught in the moment.
Weird.
Not normal (duh).
Surreal.
Perhaps it's not real.
Temporary.
Vague.
Insecurities.
Doubts.
Trust.
Love for the sake of Allah.

Allah.

GOD I NEED A DIARY.

2011-09-04T21:13:00.001+08:00

I think I'm the giver. And when I give, it's all or nothing.

That is a dangerous thing.

2011-09-03T00:03:00.001+08:00

THIS IS MY 1000TH POST!

hehehe, this blog has came a long, longg way.

fun fact! (well actually not that fun) I actually named my blog "My Teenage Years..." when I started. It never changed. And even though throughout these years I've tried out other sites to post my nonsense, I still return to this one <3

And so its practically my lifestory!

oh and at this point in time, i'd just like to mention that I'm currently listening to MJ's album Invincible. It was the first album of his that I bought. At first I was disappointed because I didn't knwo any of the songs in it -_-" But then the songs was awesome (no surprise of course),and so i ripped it and transferred to my then existent mp3 player!

You know how each song just somehow reminds you of certain memories? Like you were listening to a particular songs at a particular time, then from then on the two are always associated to the other?

Well, two of the songs from the album is my fav! Butterflies and Speechless. Somehow, my mp3 would always end up playing it as I walk towards ACC (Autism childrens centre) yearssss back. So as you all know, when I was iforgotwhen, I was obsessed with CLAY AIKEN! I was a freaking Claymate, was on his fanclub and everything.

I joined SG's Claymate fanclub, and even met them in real life. I went to their album launch party. hahaha! So anyway, what has this got to do with ACC right. You see, because Clay was a special ed teacher, in our forum, we made a topic for volunteer opporutnities! One of the members, was a regular volunteer at ACC. So every sat, she will invite us all to come.

So I was young and i had loads of free time right, I decided to go. Soon, it became a weekly thing. I learnt a few skills there. I didn;t meet the children at all lah. I just helped with making the teaching materials. Like help colour pictures, laminate stuff, print stuff etc. Lol, thats where I learn how to laminate. XD hey, i was really young okay. So every sat, as i walked towards the simei branch of ACC, i'd listen to it. hahaha.

I miss that place, and the people! hehehe, fellow claymates! theyre an awesome kind bunch of people. seriously. ooh, i rmmber gg to the Clementi branch of acc! it's bigger there and they have an AWESOME play area! when we went, they just finish revamping it or smth, and we got to playyy! hahaha!

but then Clay started being nonsense, I grew up, and I lost interest. too bad.

hmm, another song on the album i like is You Are My Life. I dont rmmber why exactly, but it reminds me of Mastari! My MJ buddy! <3

ooohm this is random. but I have another song-event association that popped into my head! this time it's mraz's! It's called House on a Hill. It's one of his short songs that he plays live, and isn't released officially. I always, alwayyyyys listen to it before a paper during O levels! hehehehehe

I know I should have been listenign to like Quran or dzikir or smth, but Mraz made me feel calm and confident. So when i'm otw to TKGSS, i'll be plugged in, just reading thru my notes, swaying to Mraz sexy voice, totally calm and chill. like a boss, y'know?

Even when I reach like 1237201937 hours early, i'd sit at their benches and still listen to him, flipping through my superawesomenoteswhichIstillkeep, totally calm. House on a hill is a totally chillaxing song I lovvve so much at that time. I'd listen to it up till the point where we have to climb the stairs and wait outside the classroom. that's when I start praying and selawat and stuff.

Man, I miss that calm and confident feeling. Now all these last minute studying has been pulling my grades down. I was so soo prepared for O levels. I miss that I'mPrepared feeling. Looking back, I think Sec4 was my peak moment. now things are just going downn downnn downnn.

Or maybe I'm just being really negative. for heaven's sake. my gpa isn't that bad. for some it isn't bad at all (though I'd still beg to differ. stupid year2.). and hell, I landed myself an intern placing with freaking ISD. Thats is damn prestigious pls (maybe not as much as AStar but well not interested), and it'll look awesome in my resume and all.

maybe nothing has changed. just my mindset.

So i'm starting SIP this 14th Sept. reportime: 0830hrs sharp. attire: dark top (for phototaking for ID card). to note: no camera phones allowed, and i think no storage devices either.

scary lah. Poly is coming to an end so, so soon. It's SIP, MP and then done. What's next? It's like I can only see a few steps of the road infront of me. idk what to expect. you know what i mean?

aiyya. idk lah, what to type anymore.

i'm speeechlesss <3 lol, MJ song <3

2011-08-30T23:37:00.003+08:00

I've always admired your discipline, determination, and heckcarewhatpeoplethinkimdoingtherightthing mindset.

God bless you. Always.

2011-08-28T18:11:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I guess I forget that I'm a girl and I should act like one.
And because of that, others forget too.

I feel ya, Anjali. I feel ya.

2011-08-28T13:58:00.002+08:00

omg. Spending a few days at home and just cleaning is TORTURE.

Hell no am I gonna be a housewife sia. I cannot sit still. Noooo.
i need to get out. Go rock climbing. Go hike. See the world. Do anything and evverything BUT sit and clean at home. GAH.

Lemme outta heeerrreee!

Hi future husband. You will be disappointed. Too bad.

2011-08-27T16:54:00.003+08:00

aiyyyoooo,

hates it when he gets all suddenly so 'hardworking' and doing stuffs and telling everyone else that they're doign a horrible job just because he's doing it and cleaning up just by simply throwing everything away. i mean if that's cleaning up then allow me to get the big green bin up here so i can throw everysingle thing in this stupid house.

this is why I'm never marrying a.. nevermind. it's so complicated.

they say You tend to marry someone who looks like/behaves like your father.

I pray to God I really really really hope that is just some stupid myth. I'd rather kill my self.

Sometimes it freaks me out when I see certain traits of him in others.

2011-08-26T11:25:00.003+08:00

so so cranky right now. what is this.

I think if I don't start changing and start being firm and stand for myself and all that bullshit, I might just fall prey to someone who's gonna push me around.

Hell no am I ever gonna let that effing happen. Screw all those guys who does that to women.

i dont think i can do this anymore.

2011-08-24T00:48:00.002+08:00

this can't be good for my self-esteem.

Parents said no scholarship, no overseas U. Well, there goes my future. See kids. This is why college funds are important.

My Umar is getting a college fund as soon as I see that pregnancy test kit saying I'm pregnant.

What is I take up SAF scholarship, and become a combat officer after that? I need to talk to someone.

2011-08-23T15:00:00.002+08:00

sneezing awayyy!

Cleaning my room right now! hehehe. But so far, I think I can only cover my Bookshelf and the stuffs under the bed. So at the end of the day, give my room one swift look, really you won't see the difference. But my heart can feel the neatness coming from the alphabetically-arranged textbooks in the shelf, the neatly stacked bags in the box under the bed, and the awesome boxes of memory keepsakes <3

tomorrow would be the bed itself! haha, they say always start with the foundation so I'm going level by level of the bed! Hmm... I can't remember the last time I change the bedsheets, especially the upperdeck one since nobody sleeps there.

Gonna finish up the rest of underthebed and then iron my clothes for later! hehehe. I found a box of my cousin's old clothes that she gave me which I never opened because most of the clothes are like.. ugly. sorry, cousin. BUT! I found a pretty skirt! It's 3/4, so I'm gonna try wearing that over my new jeans (Levi's had a sale, got it for 30 bucks! woohoo!). Plus, found a light brown top that kiiind of goes with the skirt. hahaha!

The bad thing is, I gotta iron every single piece of clothing. As if I'm not already lazy to iron the tudong -_-"

Oh well!

Oh! Later = Buka at Lau Pa Sat btw! buka with Nash and the rest! Syahirah, Naji and Ashik! <3 Zul cannot make ittt =( If not, complete set 5 of us. I was gonna bring a camera to take a picture of us 5. I realise we dont have a picture together! D= Still gonna bring though. The Fantastic Four. ehehe. Or the Teletubbies without the vacuum. Vacuum got some exercise and is on standby till 2am!

-

I'm not really excite for Raya this year. BUT! I am looking forward to wearing all my pretty bajus! They're all jubahs/long dresses. Two of them were tailored for my two cousins' weddings, the other two are courtesy of my mom randomly buying cloths, so got extra, so she asked "you want not, make baju for you using this?" and I was like, "I anything also I wear. can ah!" and turns out, one of them is my favourite! Daymn pretty! Dont really know if i actually look good in it lahh, but who cares! IT'S SO PRETTY!

It's plain white/beige ish in the inside. then there's like a lace coat over it. Like a whole piece of jubah using lace, but there's a cut from the waist down. Usually they'd cut it in the middle, but I asked the auntie to do it at the side. I WAS A GENIUS. damn pretty <3

I didn't go crazy over shoes, though. Just bought simple pretty black one to match all four (except for my favourite one. it needs slippers/strap heels thingy).

While shopping for it, I ended up buying the new jeans and a new bag to use for SIP!

Which is starting soooooooooon! Sep 12 is the launch, Sept 14 is the day we actually report for work. This will be the first time in the history of my life that I'd be working. woohoo! Nervous, actually. It's research. I forgot all my RMA/RMB =( All the SPSS nonsense. Oh no. And I'm not really that good in research, despite what my results would indicate.

We shall see what happens! InsyaAllah, aal iz vell <3

2011-08-20T15:01:00.002+08:00

AlhamdulilLah.

he's calmed down.

I'd like to think because the Qur'an is blasted from my laptop (Sheikh Saad alGhamdi! <3).

I failed the test.

2011-08-20T13:40:00.002+08:00

he doesn't know where to start?

and his venting his frustration on us?

HELLO, WHY DON'T YOU START WITH YOUR HEART AND BRAINS.

if I get to vent my frustration JUST BECAUSE Idk where to start, BY GOD, you all will be DEAD BY NOW.

2011-08-19T20:10:00.002+08:00

I dont think can qiyam tmr night. THIS isn't over. Allah, please please please let it be done soon! I am missing too much of Ramadhan =(

So i guess it's just Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday for slumber party at Allah's house, insyaAllah! which house, I'm not sure yet. Mydin has been amazingly peaceful, but idk how it works there..? never qiyam there before. Probably gg Darul Aman.

We'll see.

I miss the Ramadhan I had in sec4.

Well. Anyway.

WOOHOO, 3 WEEKS OF FREEDOM. I'm gonna go shower now. Came home just now to slack a little. Shall continue planning after my shower =)

To those having exams, JIA YOU! All the best! Exams in Ramadhan, who knows, got berkat. (Y) =)

2011-08-18T23:52:00.002+08:00

why is evvverything so rushed?!

I can't even find the time to keep my room clean, let alone clean it up once it becomes unbarable.

I am so looking forward for a simple and quiet life by the countryside.

2011-08-16T23:59:00.002+08:00

Supposed to be asleep, need to actually be on time for class tomorrow. 2nd last presentation for this sem! But well.

I was telling a dear beloved friend of mine, how when things seem to be getting harder - be it to hang on and persevere through, or resisting temptations, or controlling our temper - it means Allah is giving us a test, a chance for us to level up! Level up our patience, strength, iman, whichever =) like how super mario has to fight with bigger and badder monsters at the end of each stage before he can proceed to the next level, we need to pass His tests too.

That day this ustaz from Mesir was talking abt levels of patience. He mentioned three, but i don't rmmber the names of the levels ah. If i was listening correctly, he said the last level is to be able to accept major life changes like the death of a loved one. Like, completely accepting.

Okay he explained it so much more clearly =/

Anyway! Tomorrow! There'll be our proff comm presentation. We have to simulate a meeting. After that is our addictive psy test. So after tmr, i'll only have HF report, which is donnnne, and e.child presentation to worry abt both due on fri! I hope there won't be much changes for our report aft we consult WP for it. So that after we're done with presentation, WE'RE DONE WITH THE LAST TUTORIAL WE'D HAVE IN TP.

OMG.

Cause after that is our 3 weeks break, then it's sip then mp.

OMG. SO FAST.

Then in Sept, we shld start with our Uni applications.

OMG OMG OMG.

Speaking of which, I think like no hope for me to go overseas, let alone Yale/Harvard/OtherImpossibleIvyLeagueUni. I need a full scholarship, and whoda hell's gonna sponsor this kental sia? ='(

NUS/NTU the only choices now. No offence, but NUS's psych course sucks pls. Like. Okay.

Sigh.

I should sit down and rethink abt my future. I have been having this.. Irritating thought abt taking some NIE course and go down the path of becoming a teacher, perhaps in Maarif. But.

I CANNOT TEACH TO SAVE LIVES.

I'm still gonna apply to whatever overseas uni available tho. If i get in, heyyyy, i can have the pleasure of rejecting unis. Cool per. If not, well, i'm not gg anyways. #nodifference

Sigh.

Time flies too fast.

I shall sleep now.

3 more daays.

2011-08-14T22:23:00.001+08:00

so so so looking forward to end of this friday.

I hope my period ends by then.

With no school stuffs to worry about, I can help mommy with kuihs and can focus on Ramadhan better. ALHAMDULILLAH.

Allah is too nice to me. <3

2011-08-13T17:43:00.001+08:00

WELL.

IT came alright.

Now I want it to end fast because I'm bored =(

2011-08-12T01:16:00.000+08:00

being firm has always been my weakness. #irony

Sometimes i think i give too much unconditionaly. Not in terms of money or things. Just. Give. Y'know?

I think there shld be more feedbacks given to each other everyday. It's tiring to try and see how ure like from another person's point of view.

I need to shut up and sleep.

2011-08-12T01:09:00.002+08:00

I WANT TO LISTEN TO ADELE RIGHT NOW.

but no. must not dwell on things. songs makes me dwell on things.

that's why qur'an mp3. is awesome.

now if only my arabic was a little bit better.

2011-08-11T02:03:00.002+08:00

this is totally inappropriate prbbly to post but well.

PERIOD, Y U NO COME NOW?!

I swear if you come on the last ten days of Ramadhan, the days when I'm freeee of all assignments, the days when I can FINALLY catch a little break and most importantly, the days when I can visit His houses and stay over in absolute PEACE, ....

I can't do much but cry ='(

I have a feeling. This very thing might happen.

I think after having alot of things going according to plan for my sec sch life, God is now moving on to training me to face setbacks, and have lots and lots more patience.

Still a long way to go before I can get it!

2011-08-10T00:52:00.002+08:00

Just wanted to blog on how I ate a whole load of food yesterday (monday night) and today (tuesday!)

On monday, went to bazaar. Naji Ashik and I, upon reaching, planned what our menu for the night to be:

Delifrance
Ramly Burger
Kebaab
with sides: Cempedak goreng & dengdeng (They've never tried it before. seriously, bro?)

We were joined by Zul who came slightly after Azan.

FUN LAH. Stuffed ourselves silly~

We're planning for round two! Lots more food we haven't tried:

Ayam percik
Fried crabs
Takoyaki
chilidog
AND MORE!

hehehe

So today, just now, I had project meeting at Kallang Leisure Park. Afterwards, was gonna rush down to Mydin for buka. But then Naji texted and so he joined me there for BK! Naida and her friends were there too, they already planned to eat there so we buka-ed together =)

THEY STILL HAD NACHOS BURGER. YESSAAA! Ate the whole burger, please! The last time I ate the Whopper one, I ate half for lunch, half for dinner. But i guess the tendergrill was smaller. but still, SYIOKLAH. Couldnt finish the onion rings, though.

oh well.

We fetched Zul afterwards (who was wearing a pink baju kurung, btw. hahah!), and went to Mydin for prayers where Ashik was. after terawih, sat at the coffee shop and ordered steak!! One plate shared among the four of us. BEST LAH.

eateateat. So much for maintaing my weight of 49, let alone losing one more kg! HAHA.

Had a good good time. Zul was teaching Naji malay songs. And Ashik coughed out his coffee. on both nights. hahaha!

<3

2011-08-09T00:52:00.003+08:00

No, it's definitely not impossible for women to lead.

But I do believe God has His reasons when He makes the men lead prayers, and never the women.

While we can try with our might to defy the norm, sometimes we have to take a step back and realise that perhaps that's just how things are and should be. I believe there is no point in going against nature, and especially one that God Himself has specifically mentioned.

Allahu A'lam.
He knows best.

2011-08-07T17:14:00.002+08:00

Things to do/buy and place to go with SIP money:

Go for KL/Genting trip ($200?)
Go for iFly singapore ($69)
Buy new jeans ($40)
Buy a set of office clothes from G2K (this, with my first pay. Always been my dream!)
Give mommy and daddy some, too!
Give Maarif some, as well <3
Go for Paintball trip in JB ($70?)
Go Swensen's 1for1 lunch with a buddy!($30)

and more shall be added soon. hehehe~

2011-08-05T01:08:00.001+08:00

it's harder for me to fall asleep if we don't wish each other good night.

Cheesy, but well, go ahead and pour me on your nachos.

2011-08-03T00:09:00.002+08:00

i am in bed right now when i shld be dg my reportS and researcheS. actually there's no such thing as researches. Hah.

I sleep too much. I'm telling you, i think i suffer from depression. mood swings, losing weight (albeit only 2kgs. YAY FINALLY 40+ AGAIN! 49 ah, but still. YAY!), sleeping more than usual. DSMIV says i am depressed. Whahaha! =(

Anw. Using this time in my SQS2C2 to reflect on what happened today. Break fast at Sar, Meetingggg, praying tgthr!

A wise bro always has his Msn status as 'self-reflection is vital'

Come, let's reflect as we fall asleep.

Honestly i hate reflection lah. I think i'm the kind who'd rather faster2 jump to the action/application part. Like no need talk so long laahh, i get it ready, so what am i supposed to do now or what shld i DO?

okay. Lazy to type now. Bye.

2011-08-01T21:52:00.002+08:00

My two friends, Syahidah and Liyanah, has just boarded a flight off to Mesir to further their studies in Al-Azhar. A part of me wished I could hop on that same plane and join them. But tis the path I have chosen, and so I shall carry on!

I'm gonna skip the school part of the day just because it's school. Although I can't stop apologising Nash and Ashik, as well as thanking them and Naji for their time coming down to my rather long experiment. Bought them chocolates and all! heheh.

So after school, after Asar, headed down to Airport. Met up with Ira before we joined the rest. The moment we stepped outside the elevator, we were greeted by a sea of muslims and muslimahs all saying their goodbyes and takign pictures and whatnot. It was like Haji time. The first familiar face I saw was Mardhiah's! <3<3<3 Is it me, or is she getting prettier every time I see her? =)

A totaly of 15 of us S4P came to send off the two Azhariyaats! That makes the total of 17 Sec4pinks! RECORD BROKEN. hahaha! We managed to snap a picture to prove it, too <3 We made a totally last minute 'card' out of paper and random pens. Wrote a short message and signed it off. Zakiyyah folded them into long-shaped hearts. KEKEK, LAH ZAKY. hahaha!

We said our goodbyes, hugged and prayed. It was just so wonderful to see two friends going off for such an amazing and insyaAllah beneficial journey.

Being at the airport with everyone else was also amazing. So many people.. so many good people. Saw so many madrasah students, both current and graduated, saw our ustazahs as well, and Ustaz from other madrasahs/schools. The vibe is just awesome. Plus it being the first day of Ramadhan and all. Just before they went in, everyone gathered in a circle, around an Ustaz, where he read Du'aa. The crowd was so huge, I couldn't hear a thing. We totally conquered the walkway. \m/ Aminkan je lahhh~ HAHA

After they went off, some of us headed home too. Some of us stayed to break-fast there. They were me, Mardhiah, Fathin, Khadijah, Zaky, Syad and Dee. Went to Popeyes! after which we prayed maghrib together <3 had the usual debate on who should be imam! So after a forever-long battle of "takk, kita tak layak. awakk lagi paling patut jadi imam" (direct translation: " noo, i'm not worthyy, youu'rree more suited to be the Imam"), Zakya led the prayers =)

Went off afterwards. Well, they stopped to try out the whole stencil-colouring thing at t3 for a bit. macam budak kecik! hahhahaah!

Had a great great time with the girls <3

I miss Maarif so much. Ohh, where have all the innocence gone?

2011-08-01T05:44:00.001+08:00

"A family that prays together, stays together!"

I wish I can say that for mine.

When I have a family of my own, I will make sure my husband will lead every single prayer for the rest of my entire life, and my children's until Umar is old and mature enough to take over. NO EXCUSES. I. DONT. CARE.

2011-07-30T15:49:00.003+08:00

I miss Saff-Perdaus camps SO much. Ramadhan Rocks, the two Relite I attended. Where are all the Bros and Sis of Saff? =( I wish I can help them bring it back to life. There are SO many teens who benefited from their efforts, I hope they know that.

Anyway, the video below was one of the songs the Brothers sang during our Sec 2 Relite camp. I remember Jenggo was the lead. He was quite horrible with the high notes, but still, their performance brought tears. The song itself is so, omg.

I shall try to translate it, because if I had only one song (the horror!) to dedicate to my dearest friends during graduation, it will probably be this.

Di sini kita pernah bertemu
Mencari warna seindah pelangi
Ketika kau menghulurkan tanganmu
Membawaku ke daerah yang baru

It was here where we once met,
in search of the joyful colours of the rainbow,
Where you held out your hand,
And brought me to a new place.

Kini dengarkanlah
Dendangan lagu tanda ikatanku
Kepadamu teman
Agar ikatan ukhuwah kan
Bersimpul padu

Now, listen

to this song as my reminder of you, my friend

So that our ties of brotherhood won't ever be unfold.

(literally it really means 'our ties of brotherhood will tie into a big complicated knot but well)

Kenangan bersamamu
Takkan ku lupa
Walau badai datang melanda
Walau bercerai jasad dan nyawa

I will never forget all the memories with you,

Even if a storm arises

Even when the soul separates from the body

Mengapa kita ditemukan
Dan akhirnya kita dipisahkan
Munkinkah menguji kesetiaan
Kejujuran dan kemanisan iman
Tuhan berikan daku kekuatan

Why were we destined to meet,

when in the end, we have to go our separate ways?

Perhaps this is a test of our loyalty,

our sincerity and the sweetness of our iman.

Dear God, please give me strength!

Mungkinkah kita terlupa
Tuhan ada janjinya
Bertemu berpisah kita
Ada rahmat dan kasihnya

Perhaps we have forgotten

That God has His promises

Our meeting as well as our separations

has His blessings and Love.

Andai ini ujian
Terangilah kamar kesabaran
Pergilah derita hadirlah cahaya

If this truly is a test,

Shine the light in our rooms of patience

So, go away all Sufferings, and enter the light.

(wth, idk what other words to replace. sounds so blergh.)

Well. My english translations just ruined it. Thanks, Huda. Thanks.

2011-07-29T13:57:00.002+08:00

In ELF room again, submitted an assignment, met up for two project meetings. I deserve a break, yes? =)

So I am currently waiting for Ira to call me up around 5pm. She planned smth but refused to tell me what. It is making me curious and worried. I love surprises, but I don't like to know I have a surprise waiting, and then I have to like worry about all the things. Currently I am wondering if I have enough cash. I only got $10 and my ezlink is running out of moneh.

but well!

I said I wanted to blog about T3 and about our clubhouse, so here it goes!

T3 was last Friday and Saturday. It was our first time organising a camp in school, 2D1N. Rou Hui was OIC. I think it went pretty smoothly, except for the sleeping part.
After we dismissed the pax for wash up, we had our own debrief and breifing for the next day. It dragged quite a bit, and no one was really looking after the pax. We assigned our ELF sub-comm to help, though. But still. Anyway, we returned back to SAR and carried on with preperations for day 2.

RH and I had to do our slides and all. In the end we slept in SAR itself. WOOHOO. Always wanted to do that, so that's off the to-do-before-graduate list =)

sidetrack: somebody just switched off the aircon of sar. thank god. it's freezing here.

and it was freezing when we slept, too. I could hardly sleep. I woke up after like half an hour/an hour of sleep and went out to daydream - well if you could call it that. Then I saw Ashik waving his phone about. He's not asleep either eyy. We were standing outside then saw Kenn at level 2 walked by. We panicked cause really we werent supposed to be there, but not really..? it's complicated. but all is well. he was okay with it. After that Syahirah joined us and then blabla, we all got ready for day 2!

I had to give a 'lecture' on Methods of Instructions. With slides and handouts, no less. It was pretty hard trying to engage 36 people right after they had their breakfast. At least I did get some response lah, but I think I could have phrased my questions better. It didn't help that I saw Kama and Jaz falling asleep right at the back. hahaha. I kwno lah, theyre jsut tired. but still, y'know? It was awesome though. During nightwalk the night before, an AC member was telling me, wah why so cool got two OBS instructors? I have to admit, it is damn cool =)

After my lecture was RH's lecture. she gave out MnMs and mentos! Then after that was the hands on ALPs and then LUNCH! Techno ;) Right after lunch was Kenn's ~~boring~~ lecture and then another ALP. After that, we brought the participants to see our store.

So here's the clubhouse story part!

Our store is gonna get renovated real soon, so we had to move out by Thursday, yesterday. So we made a quick last minute decision to let the pax see our store, and make use of them to help us carry the stuffs from level 1, where our store is, to level 9 where our CLUBHOUSE IS!

It's a freaking penthouse, with talltall ceilings and two balconies. It has 4 bedrooms and 4 toilets, one of which have a bathtub. Kitchen with stove and all. Oh it's two levels by the way! so two bedrooms downstairs, two upstairs. you can access it from the 10th floor lift lobby, too.

HEHEHE, DAMN COOL.

So after we settled everyone down, we had our final debrief and then dismissed them. Since our stuffs are all over in SAR, we left as well and moved over there where we had our debrief.

I feel that a lot more is coming our way, good things. The vibe from T3 left me feeling very positive! Somehting I havent really been feeling lately, so T3 was really good. Kudos to RH and the rest of the main-comm! <3 =) We made it through despite having only 2 weeks-ish to plan it!

So that's T3! On wednesday, instead of our regular training, we made it into our official move to the House. We mopped sweeped the floor, clean the toilet (there were spider webs in the toilet bowl. damn gross, pls), wiped the kitchen table that was stained with shit everywhere, and moved all the stuff. It was suchhh a great time spent togehter =)

After we were doen with all the logistics and cleaning, we sat in a circle and did our EOC report for T3 and left. It was really really a good time =)

I am seriously looking forward for more time spent in that house. Like syiok lah. I especially love the tall ceiling, the view + the breeze, and the floor of the bedrooms. The bedrooms all have nothing in it, except for one which has two single sized beds, and another one on the 2nd level which has only a lamp. Like nice lah the room with just one lamp =) hahaha!

I'm gonna get welcome mats and foot rugs for the House, and continue cleaning the kitchen when I get the chance. WEEHEE! ^_^

2011-07-28T23:09:00.001+08:00

and then right now, I wanna post about how we cleaned our ClubHOUSE and how it has balconies and talltall ceilings and quite a nice scenery,

but how I'd miss our store like crazy, with all the memories there.

all the intense, life-changing debriefs from seniors, from kenn, from Paul, from alumni. All the funny2 things we did in there, all the times spent there.

ohmygosh, I miss it so much already.

wellwell.

new fond memories will be made in the new House. We just made two already, during t3 and when we officially moved everything over.

here's to more, postive and amazing things to ELF <3

2011-07-26T18:59:00.001+08:00

i officially hate all things that starts with the letter 'B'.

Except for Bread. Bread is good.

2011-07-26T11:55:00.002+08:00

i feel like gg on a twitter spree, but I shall be kind and not irritate ppl.

In Dariusz class right now and i'm feeling so cranky and negative.

i wanna know WHO.

where have the old person gone to? There's always the good and the bad to change.

I hate changes.

Gah. one hour till end of class.

i havent been 'keeping my dreams alive' as cheesy as it sounds.

Frustration. It's overwhelming.

2011-07-24T16:57:00.003+08:00

I wanna post about T3, and how everything is and how we have our own clubHOUSE (with 4 air-conditioned bed rooms, 4 bathrooms with one of them having a tub, and an awesome view of the reservoir and a little of our ALP site), and how hopeful I am right now of the common few weeks and months.

but I got HTA to continue with due tonight. School is interrupting my CCA life, lah. HAHA. Irony.

and look. Got a lot of views today. i wonder whoooooo~ =P

2011-07-20T15:46:00.002+08:00

Hello.

I am right now in ELF room, my second home, slacking away when I'm supposed to do work. The rest are either in class or at the booth. We're having a second recruitment, you see. And we're having a 2D1N camp this Friday.

A lot has been going on in ELF I don't even wanna go there. Let's just say that I've never been tested this hard before in my life. I need to step up so much more to cope. I'm too nice you see. HAHA. Need to be more firm, sometimes, and that's just not in my nature. But I guess that's just what makes a leader. To go beyond our personalities and comfort zone and step up. yeah. Still have a lot to learn.

Lately I have been every depressed, stressed, the whole package. I forgot to take things positively. Experiential Learning! Must remember that.

Anyway. Well. I don't have anything much to update. Life is revolving around school and ELF work right now.

OH OH. THERE IS ONE THING! HARRY POTTER!

Watched with Ira on Thursday itself! We met up for dinner, then went for the movie! I cried when Snape died, and when we watched his memory, and Fred. and Lupin. Well. =( But the ending was weird. Albus Severus damn cute, though! =D

But the next day! i watched it again, this time with ELF! EIGHTEEN OF US CONQUERED TWO WHOLE ROWS. WOOHOO!

that was aaa-maazing! =D Lemme list dowwn the names!

Raine
Fae
Islin
Bell
Adlan
Zul
Naji
Nash
Syahirah
Huda (me!)
Jasmine
Syaz
Rou Hui
Ilyas
Luqman
Zul (little Zul, haha!)
Arun
Jovi

WOOHOO! yeah =) It was awesome fun.

I wanna watch againm though!

So i don't know what else is there to update. I am updating for the sake of updating. Apparently someone's bored of seeing no updates from my blog. well, here you go darling. You're lucky I never blog a whole Harry Potter chapter! muahahaha~

2011-07-16T00:37:00.001+08:00

sometimes I wish we could talk all night long.

but alas, the fact that we're merely humans and subjected to exhaustion hinders us.

2011-07-04T23:34:00.002+08:00

what was the surah, again? Ar-Rad, right?

God won't change you unless you change yourself first?

Something like that.

But please, Allah. I don't have the strength. Not anymore.

Maybe because I have been distancing myself from you =(

Take me back. Please?

I wanna go back to Maarif. I'd rather live under a rock than be exposed to all of these.

Sometimes I think abt gg to, idk, hadramaut or smth after poly.

At least, perhaps, I can get peace.

Maybe after that I can help the muslim children in Iran or wherevr who are gg thru all those war nonsense and help counsel with what pathetic counseling skills i have.

Sounds like a good life.